I Have Bad News For You

 

When I started college, my dad and I were constantly fighting. It got to a point where I knew the best choice would be for me to move out.  I decided to dorm at college because I couldn't afford to pay rent for an apartment yet. Just like Wes, I kept the news to myself for a while. I resonate with feeling like you are in a daze. As each day passed, I tried to keep up the appearance that everything was fine. 

I had to take a lot of deep breaths to calm myself down. I tried to act like it wasn't happening. I was too scared to tell my dad. I slowly started moving my stuff out secretly. I now know I should have handled it better and told him sooner. My friends helped me move all my stuff out to a nearby friend's house. He lived right across from school. It would be easier for me to move my stuff from there for move in day.

I didn't tell my dad I was moving out until the day before. I didn't want him to guilt trip me to try and talk me out of it. I could tell that my dad was hurt by his face. But he couldn't really say much. I had to rehearse a conversation with him in my head before I broke the news. I said something along the lines of I want to move out. I want to learn how to be more independent. I highlighted how he wasn't going to be here forever. Just like Wes, me moving out wasn't ideal. I felt that I was too young. I wasn't sure where I would go for winter and summer break. It felt isolating but I wasn't completely alone. I had my friends as my support system. Every time I second guessed my choice, they helped put things in perspective. It made me feel calmer talking things out. They helped me come up with the words to say. I also thought about what was best for me.

He was hurt because I was his youngest child. He didn't want to see me leave the nest. He tried to use the logical aspect to talk me out of it. He mentioned all the loans I would have and debt that would accumulate just for my five minutes of freedom. I was able to get the courage by thinking about how unhappy I was in my current situation. I had to remind myself that my move in date was set. There was no need for me to yell. There was no need for me to cry. I just had to explain my reason to him like an adult. I told him I was too depressed living here. I needed to get out of this unhealthy environment. I had to be realistic and think about what would happen to me if I kept living there. It was an unhealthy environment for both of us. By putting myself first, I got the courage to break the news to him. It also didn't hurt that I was prepared to leave whether he wanted me to or not.